I’m in a point right now in my life where I realized that you don’t usually get support from the people who you think are always there for you. It is human nature, I guess, to support things or people that you approve of, encourage, and are proud of. But what I’ve found to be “real” support is acceptance – Accepting what the person can offer in whatever point of his or her life right now, to be happy for them if they are, and to be sad with them if they’re not.
I have always been dependent all my life – for the meantime, it may be a bit more on the emotional side which no one knows because I don’t show it. I’m the youngest of five children and I believe it was already inborn for me to be independent to my family. But, when our father died when I was a mere seventeen year old, I was driven to become independent.
At that age, I gave up a lot in my own way. I learned to differentiate want from need. And because I was blessed enough to have financial aid during my college years, I was able to live in just the amount of allowance they provide. After graduation, I may not have proceeded to Medicine, I coped with that the best that I can. I chose to work even if it wasn’t in my side of profession (I’m a licensed nurse) so that I can learn how to earn my own money. I did my best to at least find a line of job that is in the medical field, and now I find myself in a different city with a job related to healthcare.
I currently have plans just for this year at the moment and I’ll build more on my plans based on what happens this year. Speaking of plans, I may have disappointed a lot of people because of it, not only did I just want to share it to them but also because they asked and I trusted them. But things happen, and I always end up changing my plans. They get disappointed but what they don’t know is that I also get disappointed in myself the most. I hurt myself the most but I have no choice but to deal with it – I have only me.
What I’ve really realized and I don’t seem to understand is how we, people, more often than not, underestimate each other easily. In my case, growing up, I don’t know if I act too strong in other people’s eyes that they take me for granted and not support me when I need them the most – or even when I just wanted a bit of their support. Because like I said, we only support things that we approve of, encourage, or are proud of. But I have come to be blessed with people who support me no matter what, regardless if they approve of it, or want to encourage, or are proud of it. They support me because they know me and accept me for who I am. They support me because they love me. They support me because I, too, support and love them like they do.
It only takes one person, just one person, to love you, accept you, and support you in everything that you do, and everything else will be okay.
“There is someone who is with you, someone who is willing to pick you up, dust you off, kiss you, forgive you, put up with you, wait for you, carry you, love you. So while everything may not be okay, one thing I know is true, you do not have to be alone.” – Norah, The Beaver (2001)