Just Scribbles: On “100 Tula Para Kay Stella”

One of my best friends, after watching this movie, messaged me instantly that I had to watch it, too, because it reminded her so much of me – or rather Fidel reminded her of me. I was so Fidel, she said. He writes poems, sings well, and… good-looking? (Hahaha! Joke!) Never mind the last point, I just added that after watching the movie myself (Buwhahaha!) Anyway, I didn’t really get right into it, until yesterday. I finally watched it and here are my thoughts.

Unfortunately, due to not owning a watch because I don’t like the feeling of having something wrapped around my wrists (thus, my bracelet tattoo haha), we were thirty minutes late. I just really messed up the schedule from the other day. I was thinking it was 5:00 PM when it was actually 4:30 PM on that day. But anyway, I think, what we only missed was the fact that Stella used to wear black lipstick.

So far so good, JC Santos was adorable especially with his stuttering. There were a lot of nostalgic moments like the cassettes, and um other stuff (I’m not good at recalling things). The script was okay for me, there were a few cringing moments which is my basis usually on how I evaluate Tagalog films: the less cringing, the better.

The previous movie we watched was “Kita Kita,” which I have no other words for because it was just perfect on its own. I wasn’t trying to compare while watching “100 Tula” but while watching, I was just thinking or rather I knew that the previous film was better. But somehow, the climax got my attention. (Okay, so spoilers ahead if you haven’t watched the movie.)

Oh, so first off, I love Fidel’s poems, I kept grinning every time a poem comes out because it rhymed, like how I always write my poems. For Stella, on the other hand, I hated everything about her. I can elaborate, trust me, but just too put it simply: I dislike selfish, narrow-minded, and immature people.  And it just so happens that Stella is that 3-in-1, so I dislike her whole being for that matter. I’m not even going to say that I may not know what she had gone through or maybe due to what happened to her and her family she ended up that way, or whatever psychological reasons whatsoever. I will just acknowledge her as a person, I guess, but I would never befriend someone like her, just to be honest.

The confession part was what got my attention. I loved Stella’s response to Fidel’s “I love you.” It sort of beat the “I love you,” then “Thank you” response.

Fidel: I love you.

Stella: Kailan pa?

What I liked about this movie is what it will make you realize. And this is what I realized: There are two types of people.

Type 1 (aka Fidel): There are people who are patient and full of hope and inspirations even when they don’t know what the future holds for them. Not knowing any certainty but they believe that they will end up with something or someone that are meant for them.

Type 2 (aka Stella): While there are those people who know who they are and what they are going to become since their birth or their coming of age or since the beginning of time. With all certainty in the world, they do everything that they can to pave their way and get there.

That is the idea of the two types of people, you either belong to one category or the other. But it is just the idea or rather the beginning because what really matters is the journey. It is the journey that defines you as a person.

There are some who starts off like Fidel, not knowing anything certain but happy in the moment, living life to its fullest, making the most of what life can offer. Then when they find what they want to do in life they start becoming someone like Stella, where their vision becomes a mission. While, there are some who starts off like Stella, knowing what they want to do in life and start living life like there’s no tomorrow but then life happened, shit happens and you find yourself lost, stuck, and empty. When that happens you can always go back to being like Fidel, forget the certainty because nothing in life is constant but change. Just build yourself up, live your life, and believe that you are getting there even if you have no idea where there is.

Okay, so I don’t know what happened there, I just kept on typing my thoughts didn’t I? I made a differentiation of two types of people, categorized them as Fidel and Stella, then somehow after further elaboration rather than types of people, they became phases of life. Like right now you’re in the Stella phase of your life and when all else fails shift your phase to Fidel. Well you know, just nod if you understand, or just move on if you don’t.

So yeah, that was it. I understood Fidel’s character, I had that phase where you write about someone who doesn’t deserve what you are capable of giving to them. I’m not saying that they aren’t worthy of what you think about them, but rather they are not in the same league or how should I say this. We write how we feel and what we know, but most of the time what or who we write about has no idea, and when they do, it just doesn’t feel the same thing. It’s like expectation VS reality, I guess. That was what Fidel’s character learned after confessing through his poems. I’ve been there and done that. Afterwards, having passed that stage of not knowing the difference of an idea and reality, when you write from then on, your mind is more open to the difference between what’s really real and what’s not.

For Stella’s character, I applaud her for knowing herself and what she is capable of but I was hoping for was a better ending for herself. Nonetheless, I’ll just take her for what she said that she found love, real love, and it is something that we can never define or explain, it’s just what it is. She’s happy anyway so that’s what really matters. I also respect her for making the time to talk to Fidel. It is better to confront things that are hopeless rather than let someone continue hoping for something that has already ended.

Like what I said, the movie for me, has a lot of subtle lessons than just what it showed. You just have to dig deeper into each character to really get the goods out of it. Overall, it was a bit dragging and unstable, but what I look for in every Filipino movie, what I truly hope for is always originality. And “100 Tula Para Kay Stella” was as original as it can get and I liked it.

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Just Scribbles: On Support

I’m in a point right now in my life where I realized that you don’t usually get support from the people who you think are always there for you. It is human nature, I guess, to support things or people that you approve of, encourage, and are proud of. But what I’ve found to be “real” support is acceptance – Accepting what the person can offer in whatever point of his or her life right now, to be happy for them if they are, and to be sad with them if they’re not.

I have always been dependent all my life – for the meantime, it may be a bit more on the emotional side which no one knows because I don’t show it. I’m the youngest of five children and I believe it was already inborn for me to be independent to my family. But, when our father died when I was a mere seventeen year old, I was driven to become independent.

At that age, I gave up a lot in my own way. I learned to differentiate want from need. And because I was blessed enough to have financial aid during my college years, I was able to live in just the amount of allowance they provide. After graduation, I may not have proceeded to Medicine, I coped with that the best that I can. I chose to work even if it wasn’t in my side of profession (I’m a licensed nurse) so that I can learn how to earn my own money. I did my best to at least find a line of job that is in the medical field, and now I find myself in a different city with a job related to healthcare.

I currently have plans just for this year at the moment and I’ll build more on my plans based on what happens this year. Speaking of plans, I may have disappointed a lot of people because of it, not only did I just want to share it to them but also because they asked and I trusted them. But things happen, and I always end up changing my plans. They get disappointed but what they don’t know is that I also get disappointed in myself the most. I hurt myself the most but I have no choice but to deal with it – I have only me.

What I’ve really realized and I don’t seem to understand is how we, people, more often than not, underestimate each other easily. In my case, growing up, I don’t know if I act too strong in other people’s eyes that they take me for granted and not support me when I need them the most – or even when I just wanted a bit of their support. Because like I said, we only support things that we approve of, encourage, or are proud of. But I have come to be blessed with people who support me no matter what, regardless if they approve of it, or want to encourage, or are proud of it. They support me because they know me and accept me for who I am. They support me because they love me. They support me because I, too, support and love them like they do.

It only takes one person, just one person, to love you, accept you, and support you in everything that you do, and everything else will be okay.

“There is someone who is with you, someone who is willing to pick you up, dust you off, kiss you, forgive you, put up with you, wait for you, carry you, love you. So while everything may not be okay, one thing I know is true, you do not have to be alone.”  – Norah, The Beaver (2001)